


Left Out

by iloverudi



Category: GOT7
Genre: Arguing, Best Friends, Confused Park Jinyoung (GOT7), Hugs, Insecure Im Jaebum | JB, Jealous Im Jaebum | JB, Makeup, Other, Soft Im Jaebum | JB, Soft Park Jinyoung (GOT7)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:55:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27701018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloverudi/pseuds/iloverudi
Summary: “Listen, Jackson is close to me, yes, but not the way you are close to me. Jaebeom you have to know that your bond with me runs so deeply. I mean, you’ve been with me from the start of it all.”“I know.” This was different from the last time he said it. These two words were more desperate, as if Jinyoung had just kicked through a door Jaebeom was trying to keep closed. “I’ve always been with you so--how could you not pick me?”After a "Best Friend Test" interview, Jaebeom is feeling like the odd man out. AKA Jaebeom is insecure and Jinyoung is reassuring.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 41





	Left Out

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything for a while (busy with class), but now I am on winter break! As always, I adore Jaebeom and Jinyoung's relationship, and I hope you all will like this story. I think there must be a lot of things that make being leader hard, and this is just my idea of what one of those things might be. Thank you for reading and if you see any mistakes please let me know! : )

Jinyoung knew the minute they left the interview that Jaebeom wasn’t happy. The leader had not even thrown him a passing glance, though it was difficult to guess why. They had all been separated for the interview: Jinyoung with Jackson, Yugyeom with Bam, and Jaebeom with Mark and Youngjae. Though Jaebeom had carried a frown since they all reunited, his two counterparts didn’t seem disturbed at all. In fact, Youngjae was the first to cheerily pipe up when they climbed into the van. 

“What are we doing for dinner?” 

“Yeah, I am hungry.” Yugyeom joined in from the back of the van, accompanied by BamBam’s nodding. Jinyoung turned to look back at them from his place in the passenger’s seat. 

“We can cook something in the dorm.” 

Yugyeom did not hide his pout, knowing there was no use arguing with his hyung. Mark, on the other hand, had some leeway as eldest. 

“We  _ could _ cook ourselves, though I would like to have something a little sooner.” 

“At least a snack.” Yugyeom latched on to Mark’s words. 

“Okay.” Jinyoung sighed, “You guys pick.” 

There was a moment of thoughtful humming as Jaebeom backed out of the parking space and pulled onto the road. Jackson broke the relative silence with a clap of his hands. 

“Pizza.” He pointed to no one in particular. 

“I could go for that.” Youngjae agreed, looking down at this phone. There was a general consensus on the quick and yummy choice from everyone except Jaebeom, who remained silent. 

“What do you think, are you okay with pizza?” Jinyoung asked his friend, shifting in his seat. 

“I really don’t care.” Jaebeom answered flatly. 

“Are you okay?” Jinyoung questioned, tilting his head. 

“What?” Jaebeom took his eyes off the road only for an instant to look at him. 

“You’ve been acting weird ever since we left the interview. What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing is wrong.” Jaebeom replied, though his tone told another story. 

Jinyoung sighed, his mouth drawing into a flat line. He turned in his seat, eyes dancing over Mark and Youngjae. 

“Did something happen in the interview?” 

Youngjae had just begun to shake his head and Mark opened his mouth to reply, when Jaebeom cut them off with a sharp. “Hey.”

Jinyoung glanced back at his hyung and Jaebeom warned. “ _ I  _ just told you nothing was wrong. Don’t ask them.” 

“Well,  _ I  _ know that isn’t true.” Jinyoung retorted. 

“Oh, yeah because you know me best right?” 

There was a quiet bitterness to Jaebeom’s words that surprised Jinyoung. Everyone in the van quieted, casting uneasy glances at one another. 

“Maybe not as well as I thought.” Jinyoung frowned. 

“Maybe.” Jaebeom matched it coldly.

“Okay, what is this? What’s your problem?” Jinyoung's patience was wearing. 

“My problem?” Jaebeom pointed at himself then to Jinyoung, keeping one hand on the wheel. “My problem is that-” 

Though he began harshly, he stopped with startling control. Jaebeom glanced into his rearview mirror at the wide-eyed faces in the back seat. 

“I am not talking about it now.” He swallowed, settling his voice. 

“So it is between us then?” Jinyoung questioned. Jaebeom didn’t reply and Jinyoung shook his head, crossing his arms. “I wasn’t even with you-” 

“Exactly.” Jaebeom cut him off. Jinyoung blinked, startled by the word. Jaebeom went on. “You weren’t with me, that was your choice.” 

“Is-is this about me choosing Jackson for the best friend test?” Jinyoung nearly scoffed. All eyes in the backseat looked to Jackson who shrugged, shaking his head. 

“ _ Stop. _ ” Jaebeom frowned, the word low and sharp. 

“Stop what?” Jinyoung flung his hands out, “What is it then?” 

Jaebeom whipped the van into a gas station, causing everyone to slide in their seats. He pulled up to a pump, putting it in park before ordering. 

“You know what, everyone out!” 

“What?” Mark questioned in disbelief, everyone recovering from the sudden change in direction. 

“Everyone out except Jinyoung.” Jaebeom turned, waving his hand. There was a slight hesitation in the member’s faces and he barked. “Now!” 

“Hyung, this is ridiculous.” Jinyoung tried to stay the opening car doors, but Jaebeom turned on him. 

“I told you I didn’t want to talk about it, but you won’t stop pressing. Now we’ll talk.”

The members wasted no time in following the order, not wishing to irritate Jaebeom further. The last car door closed and the two were alone. The other members all huddled into a small group beside the van, but neither man inside noticed. Their eyes were set on one another. 

Jaebeom turned in his seat, so that his body was facing more towards Jinyoung. He took a breath, in an obvious effort to collect himself, before beginning. 

“How-” he stopped. Jinyoung squinted and Jaebeom shifted before continuing. “You  _ know _ I don’t make friends easily.” 

“I am aware.” 

“And even with the guys, sometimes--it’s hard for me to be so close with them. I care about them, don’t get me wrong but-” Jabeom stopped and Jinyoung crossed his arms, wondering where this was going. Jaebeom continued. “Well, it’s always been different with you.” 

“Okay.” Jinyoung nodded, still needing more light shed on the issue. 

“And today, well I know you and Jackson are close, and I’m not saying that he can’t be your best friend, I mean, I don’t even care. I guess, well I just-”

Jaebeom stopped, eyes falling on the small smile that lifted the edge of Jinyoung’s mouth. Jaebeom’s brow furrowed. 

“What?” Jaebeom questioned. 

“What?” Jinyoung raised his eyebrows. 

“Why are you smiling?” Jaebeom’s growing irritation was evident in his voice. 

“Oh, well…” Jinyoung raised his shoulders and then let them fall. “It’s just that I never picked you out as a jealous type.” 

Jaebeom’s cheeks colored as he retorted indignantly. “I am  _ not _ jealous.” 

“You completely are.” Jinyoung chuckled.

“You know what? Just forget it.” Jaebeom almost snapped, becoming flustered with anger and embarrassment. 

“No, come on hyung, I was just playing with you.” Jinyoung rolled his head to one side. 

“Well, I’m not.” Jaebeom replied hotly, fumbling to unbuckle his seatbelt. 

“Jaebeom, stop, just calm down. Why are you so worked up over this?” Jinyoung grasped his arm, but Jaebeom pulled away.

“I said forget it.” He opened his car door, stepping out and pointing to the other members who stood locked in quiet conversation. “Get in the car!” He ordered before slamming his door and going off towards the gas station entrance. 

The boys climbed quickly in the van, all obviously wanting to get a few words in before Jaebeom came back. As the last door closed, BamBam asked. 

“What was all that about?” 

“Yeah, what is going on with him?” Mark asked, his tone more gentle than exasperated. 

“He just-” Jinyoung took a deep breath. He knew Jaebeom would be mortified if he shared what just happened. “Jaebeom isn’t feeling good today.” 

“Is he sick?” Yugyeom asked innocently. 

“Not sick, just a little...high strung is all.” Jinyoung murmured, looking out his window. 

“Well, it’s not fair to take it out on us.” BamBam crossed his arm, leaning back in his seat. “If he’s mad at Jackson, he should take it out on him.” 

BamBam laughed and Jackson reached back giving him a playful slap. Jinyoung raised his hands.

“No one is mad at Jackson. It seems Jaebeom is pissed off at me  _ exclusively _ .” He glanced at Jackson in particular. “So don’t worry about it.”   
“I won’t. I know hyung’s more sensitive than he lets on.” Jackson nodded, his voice genuine with understanding. 

Jinyoung smiled at his friend, proud of his kind, affectionate nature. Jackson returned it briefly before Yugyeom piped up. 

“Here he comes.” 

All eyes set on Jaebeom who jogged across the gas station lot. He drew near to the pump, picking out what grade gas he wanted before taking out the nozzle. He seemed oblivious to all the gazes locked on him, or perhaps he was just ignoring it. Jinyoung watched in the side-mirror, and couldn’t help but notice the heat in his hyung’s cheeks had not subsided, but spread down his neck and up to his ears. 

“Should I go ahead and order the pizza?” Bambam asked.

“Yeah, go ahead.” Jinyoung took a deep breath, looking away from Jaebeom’s reflection. “Just tell them to leave it by the door if we’re not there yet.” 

“Gotcha.” BamBam nodded, Yugyeom already leaning over his shoulder to look at the phone screen. 

Jaebeom climbed back into the van and all conversation died off. He said nothing, but started the engine and pulled out of the lot. Jinyoung folded his hands in his lap, looking out his window. 

This whole thing was ridiculous.Was Jaebeom really going to act like this over a silly best friend test? A silly...best...friend...test. Jinyoung glanced at his hyung, but Jaebeom’s eyes were on the road. If this is what it took to get Jaebeom so wound up, then how insecure was he feeling? How hurt? How unloved? Jinyoung was so used to Jaebeom’s tough outer exterior, that sometimes he fell into the trap of taking it as fact. He hadn’t considered what was going on behind closed doors, or rather the closed wall that Jaebeom put up around himself. 

The more Jinyoung thought about it, the more he wished he had reacted differently. Yes, it was adorably disarming to see Jaebeom feeling so territorial. But, he should have put that aside and instead focused on  _ why _ Jaebeom felt that way.

The rest of the drive to the dorm was silent, as if an oppressive air hung over everyone in the van. Before Jaebeom could even put the car in park at the dorm, Jinyoung announced. 

“Everyone just go ahead inside, I want to talk to Jaebeom for a minute.” 

“I don’t want to talk anymore.” Jaebeom murmured, but Jinyoung ignored it. 

“Just go ahead and start eating.”

“We’ll save pizza for you.” Youngjae assured as Jaebeom put the van in park. 

“Thanks.” Jinyoung answered for both of them. 

The guys hurried off towards the dorm as if making a prison break. Jinyoung wasted no time watching them, instead turning to Jaebeom. The leader had his arms crossed, eyes cast off to the side, an obvious show of his displeasure. 

“Listen,” Jinyoung took a deep breath, “I am sorry for the way I reacted earlier. I didn’t mean to upset you more.”

“It’s fine. I’m over it.” Jaebeom replied, casting a glance at Jinyoung’s face. 

“No you’re not.” Jinyoung disagreed. “You were already having a hard time talking to me and I made it worse.”

Jaebeom swallowed, but said nothing. Jinyoung reached forward, grasping his shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“Why are you so upset that I chose Jackson for the best friend test? You know they were just silly games.” 

“I  _ know _ .” The word came out bitterly, and Jinyoung realized quickly that he had taken the wrong approach. 

“Listen, Jackson is close to me, yes, but not the way  _ you _ are close to me. Jaebeom you have to know that your bond with me runs so deeply. I mean, you’ve been with me from the start of it all.” 

“I  _ know _ .” This was different from the last time he said it. These two words were more desperate, as if Jinyoung had just kicked through a door Jaebeom was trying to keep closed. “I’ve always been with you so--how could you not pick me?”

“Jaebeom-ah why are you making it so personal?” Jinyoung rolled his head, a hint of exasperation to his voice. 

“Because-” Jaebeom started hard, but then his strength lessened. “It just feels like--it just feels like  _ everyone _ has  _ someone _ they would choose over  _ me _ .” 

“What are you talking about?” Jinyoung’s eyes widened as he rubbed up and down Jaebeom’s arm. “Where is this coming from?” 

Any exasperation in his tone had been replaced by a mix of shock and gentleness. Jaebeom hesitated, and for an instant Jinyoung thought he would give way. The hope dissipated quickly as Jaebeom shook his head. 

“Stop, I just--I told you I didn’t want to talk about this. It’s stupid to begin with.” Jaebeom tried to unbuckle his seatbelt in an effort to make an escape. Jinyoung countered, tightening his grip on Jaebeom’s arm. 

“Jaebeom-”

“Can’t we just go inside?” The elder snapped. 

“Can’t you just talk to me?” Jinyoung countered. “Why won't you let me understand you? This morning you were perfectly fine joking around and now we’re sitting in the car arguing and you look like you’re going to cry.”

“I am  _ not _ going to cry over  _ this _ .” Jaebeom recoiled as if it were the most ridiculous notion he had ever heard. Jinyoung sighed through his nose, tilting his head. 

“What happened?” 

There was a moment. A standoff between them. Jaebeom’s dark eyes set on Jinyoung’s own, both silent, both tense, both waiting for the other to give. This was how most arguments went between the two, and though Jaebeom would never admit to it, he usually lost. He was too emotional, whether it be sadness, fury, annoyance, or the like. He couldn’t keep it under control like Jinyoung could. 

“Everything was  _ fine _ .” He broke. “ Everything was fine until they wanted us to pair off.”

“Okay.” 

It was their usual back and forth again. Jaebeom explaining things erratically and Jinyoung waiting patiently to sort them. 

“I was certain I had you. But, I looked at you and you were already talking to Jackson.” Jaebeom shifted, as if the movement would shoo off the furrow forming between his brows. “Of course Yugyeom and BamBam were together, and Mark and Yongjae were poking at one another--” 

He stopped, biting his inner bottom lip. Jinyoung said nothing, hoping the silence would urge him one. 

“I just felt…”

“Out of place?” Jinyoung guessed.

“Like a stupid third wheel who was just hoping to get to tag along with someone.” Jaebeom gave a much harsher version. “Like, it would have just been better had you all been in your perfect duos and I just stood off. I just felt, I felt like no one--” 

He stopped, his chest jerking almost as if he had a hiccup. Jaebeom cleared his throat, touching his face with his hand. He waited a moment and Jinyoung did not rush him, knowing that Jaebeom was trying hard to settle himself down. “No one wanted me.” 

As if he couldn’t stand his own words, Jaebeom unbuckled his seatbelt, swinging open the door to get out of the car. Jinyoung went quickly out his own door, hurrying to stop his hyung in front of the car. 

“Jaebeom-”

“Oh, this is so  _ stupid. _ ” Jaebeom wiped his face quickly with both hands, trying to step around his friend. 

“This is not  _ stupid _ . You feeling left out is not stupid.” Jinyoung pulled Jaebeom’s hands down, holding them as if he were about to cuff him. 

“You better not say anything, to anyone.” Jaebeom warned, going on the hard defensive after showing a hint of vulnerability. 

“There’s no need to. Listen to me.” Jinyoung tugged his hyung’s wrists a little. “Today you felt like you didn’t belong to any pair, right?” 

“Yes.” Jaebeom’s answer was impatient and frustrated. 

“That’s because you don’t belong to any pair, you belong to us all.” 

Jaebeom stopped. Stopped resisting, stopped tugging, stopped trying to escape this conversation. He stopped, set his eyes on Jinyoung, and listened. 

“How could any of us claim you as our own? Do you know how selfish it would be when we  _ all _ need you so much?” 

“You guys don’t need me that much.” Jaebeom shook his head. Jinyoung pulled his hands again, actual anger sparking at the statement. 

“How could you even say that?” He breathed. “You are the only person who keeps me sane around here. How many times have I come to you for some quiet time? To just have some peace?”

“Mm.” Jaebeom let his eyes fall. 

“And gosh could you imagine how bad Jackson would be if he didn’t have you to try and impress? I mean, he is constantly vying for your attention.” 

“I know.” Jaebeom’s brow furrowed. “But-”

“But? You’ve been more than a brother to Youngjae. You are the only person who can get a real handle on BamBam and Yugyeom. Jaebeom, we would literally fall apart without you.” 

“Don’t exaggerate.” Jaebeom replied seriously, meeting his friend’s eyes.

Jinyoung sighed, pressing his lips together. With a sharp tug on Jaebeom’s hands, he pulled his hyung into a hug. Jaebeom only resisted a little, as he always did, before laying his cheek on Jinyoung’s shoulder. Jinyoung rubbed his hyung’s shoulders and arms in a gentle, fast way. 

“The reason you felt like you didn’t belong with  _ each _ of us today, is because you belong with _ all _ of us. Okay?” 

“Okay.” Jaebeom spoke into Jinyoung’s shoulder. 

“And no matter what you always, _ always  _ belong with me.” Jinyoung assured. 

He would be sure to tell Jaebeom more often now. Jinyoung had never realized how many insecurities rippled beneath the leader’s surface, and he couldn’t help but feel guilty over it. Was it so easy to forget that Jaebeom was just as young as they were? Was it so easy to forget that sometimes he needed praise too, sometimes he needed approval, sometimes he just needed to be picked out from the rest?

“What do you think?” Jinyoung asked, as he always did at the end of a fight. 

“I think I’m hungry.” Jaebeom answered, offering a weak laugh.

It was a sure sign that he was on the mend, though he wouldn’t be sappy enough to say it. Jinyoung gave a final big squeeze, before somewhat peeling his hyung back. Jaebeom sniffed, scratching the side of his face awkwardly. 

“Don’t say anything about this, okay?” 

“Hmm, I don’t know…” Jinyoung feigned thoughtfulness, “It could make interesting dinner conversation.” 

Jinyoung drew his breath through his teeth as if in deep consideration, evoking a smile from his hyung. Jaebeom reached out, playfully grasping the back of Jinyoung’s neck. 

“Find something else to talk about, yeah?” He raised an eyebrow. Jinyoung laughed, pushing Jaebeom’s side. 

“We’ll see.” 

  
  



End file.
